I have been living this limited version of life. It is like watching free porn (you get it but you want more). Maybe that is a bad example since most of you are saints and goodie goodies. Think of it like those snacks you get at the huge warehouse stores. Some nice old lady tells you “wanna try this cheese/rat poison made by some conglomerate?” and you do, it is delicious (or at least the MSG tells you it is) and you buy the box for 98 people. Well now run that scenario again without the box for 98 people. All that is left is a residual taste of broken enzymes and hate. Tomorrow I go to the wound center and they tell me “it looks the same” I come home and try for a few minute to be compliant and then fail. What I need is a new plan. I need a memory foam room. Then I won’t have this issue. How much would it cost to just have a wall to wall memory foam room anyway. If I die it won’t matter how much money I saved not getting this. If I live then I can keep the room for when all my 700 grand-kids come to visit. I have been avoiding thinking about the time I spent thinking about the time I wasted. I wrote more for my book (it’s called defect, if you want to read a little let me know and maybe I can send you a chapter).

I have to sleep so I can smile big and ask all the right questions tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong Kitty Gatos, I want to heal up… it has just been one think after another for me, but I am trying.
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