I started telling stories to the grand-babies (well I've been telling them stories since they were 0, but now they actually sit and listen). The latest story I have been re-telling is of Goldielocks and the Three Bears. Not to be confused with Da Bears, we know they could not block Goldilocks if the game was close... that is another story kids. So here is how I tell it.
Once upon a time, there were three bears who livd in the woods. The Papa bear, the mama bear and the baby bear. While eating breakfast consisting of porridge, kind of like Cream of Wheat but not so much, they discovered it (the porridge) was too hot! So they went for a walk. A short time later along came a little girl named Goldilocks. She knocked on the front door and, when no one answered, she cased the joint and found an open window and commited her 3rd BnE of the day!
She had broken in through a kitchen window and saw there were three bowls of porridge. She sat at the Papa bears bowl andate some."This porridge is too hot!" she exclaimed.
So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.
"This porridge is too cold," she said
So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.
"Ahhh, this porridge is just right," she said happily and she ate it all up.
After she'd eaten the three bears' breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.
"This chair is too big!" she exclaimed.
So she sat in the second chair.
"This chair is too big, too!" she whined.
So she tried the last and smallest chair.
"Ahhh, this chair is just right," she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!
Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep.
As she was sleeping, the three bears came home.
"Someone's been eating my porridge," growled the Papa bear.
"Someone's been eating my porridge," said the Mama bear.
"Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!" cried the Baby bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Papa bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Mama bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces," cried the Baby bear.
They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed Baby bear.
Now here is where I have been fuzzy all my life. My ending goes a certain way but I have heard some parents tell it in a more "lets all get along; kumbaya" sorta tone. First the way this website tells it
Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed, "Help!" And she jumped up and ran out of the room. Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. And she never returned to the home of the three bears.
Now my way
Then the Bears locked the door like Kenny Rogers did in that song "The Gambler." Then went over to Goldielocks and ATE THAT @Y^#*(@( @^#&@(& All THE @T%@&#* UP! Try and be eating my food and breaking my baby's bed NOT IN MY HOUSE BIOTCH!- THE END MOTHER @T(Y#(Q)"
They seem to like my ending a little more, maybe because I do the voices too.
Ahh, Fairy Tales. Next time I will recite what I used to tell my kids (all girls) about Cinderella! Just know that the prince does not come out dashing or even a winner in the divorce, in my version of the story.
