Next time I should move the cam up, but at least y’all see what I do when I roam.

P.S. No good mail this round. Just bills.

escape

It’s Howie I am worried about. He had to have a lung removed on the 14th and I have not heard from him. If you know me from this blog, most likely you know HOWIE. Please send the cat all the mojo you can. I wanna have him back so we can have fun on here again.

Why the hell are we not focused on beating up on stuff like Cancer nowadays? Seems like we could have wiped it out by now. Instead my friends have to pay the price for our indifference to this crap as a people. I wish Jonas Edward Salk was around to fix it and give it away for free… I think big business is too busy making money to help fight the good fight. Not trying to take anything away from those who are actively looking for that cure (hell I am just mad)… but If we had one of him now, my friends would have no need to fight.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.

You are now chatting with ‘Glenda’

Your Issue ID for this chat is #stupida$$

Glenda: Hello, how may I help you?

Robert: Hello, I had attempted to get my home phone number ported. It did not work and I lost the number to the GODS. I would like a refund of the fee I paid you guys to port the number… please

Glenda: Is 480******* your magicJack phone number?

Robert: thats the number I was given when I signed up. My home phone was 480*******

Glenda: Thank you.

Glenda: Is stupida$$@gmail.com the email address you used upon registering magicJack?

Robert: yes

Glenda: Thank you.

Glenda: Please wait while I check that for you

Robert: Thanks

Glenda: Thank you for patiently waiting.

Glenda: As I have checked here from my end, the phone number 480) ******* was completely ported to magicJack, Robert.

Robert: nope

Robert: it never was, never worked, I had a few conversations with a few 10% awesome techs with you and nada

Robert: I just want a refund… I am frustrated beyond belief with this service

Robert: I don’t want a refund for the initial purchase

Robert: Just the port

Robert: that never worked

Robert: EVER

Glenda: I apologize but that is not possible for you to have a refund for the transfer request.

Robert: because why?

Robert: because it worked, you fufilled my request?

Glenda: Its’ not possible for you to have a refund since the number is ported to magicJack.

Robert: ok

Robert: would you please call me on that number??

Glenda: I apologize but that is not possible for me to call you, Robert.

Glenda: Do you have a cell phone or another landline?

Robert: yes

Glenda: http://my.magicJack.com

Glenda: Please click on the link above then provide your email address and password to login to your account.

Glenda: Let me know once logged in on your account.

Robert: I am in

Glenda: Please click on View-Renew-Add under Phone Number tab.

Robert: ok

Glenda: Then click on the dropdown menu under the phone number 480) ******* and select the phone number 480) ******* .

Robert: I have done that

Robert: when people call the number, it states “not in service.”

Glenda: Thank you.

Glenda: Please restart your dial pad by clicking on Menu > Advanced Users > Restart.

Robert: ok

Glenda: Once dial pad has restarted, check if your see the dial pad the phone number (480) *******.

Robert: ok, it is

Glenda: Please call that magicJack phone number now.

Robert: did

Robert: the number you have reached is not in service, please check the number

Robert: thats the same message as before

Robert: do you need to transfer me?

Glenda: Let’s try a few more things to address the issue.

Robert: lets

Glenda: Click the “Start” button then “Settings” then “Control Panel” then go to “Internet Options”, under “Privacy” tab, slide the bar down to “Accept all cookies”.

Robert: done

Glenda: Click “Security” tab, click on “Trusted Sites” then click the “Sites” button.

Robert: did that too

Glenda: We’re going to make some changes on your firewall restriction rules. Are you ready?

Robert: sure

Glenda: May I know what Operating System your using to where the magicJack is plugged in?

Robert: OSX 10.6.8

Glenda: It’s a Mac OS?

Robert: yup

Glenda: In the System Preferences: Sharing Panel there is a Firewall section.

Glenda: If the Firewall is ENABLED then you need to open that port. Just add a rule by clicking New and adding the ports required, and give it a useful name to remind you what it is for.

Robert: I am able to receive calls on the other number using magicjack

Robert: it works fine

Robert: the issue is with the ported number

Robert: this is really a waste of time for both f us. Send me to the next tier if you cannot resolve.This has all been done by them.

Glenda: Is the phone number disconnected from other carrier already?

Robert: Yes

Glenda: One moment please…

Glenda: I am transferring you to one of our top 10% agents as rated by our customers. Please hold while I transfer you.

Please wait while I transfer the chat to the best suited site operator.

Robert: I thought so

You are now chatting with ‘Junrex’

Your Issue ID for this chat is #Stupida$$ some more

Junrex: Hello. My name is Junrex. To better assist you, let me put you on hold while I read your previous chat/s. Thank you.

Robert: Let me know what I can do to help you help me.

Junrex: Thank you for patiently waiting.

Junrex: Can you tell me what did the caller hear upon calling your magicJack?

Robert: “the number you have reached is not in service, please check the number”

Robert: I ordered this 4 months ago

Junrex: Thank you for waiting. I’ll be with you in just a moment.

Junrex: Thank you for patiently waiting.

Junrex: Were you able to receive a call in past days with your magicJack phone number?

Robert: Junrex, It is my pleasure to wait, I am getting good at this.

Robert: on the magicjack number yes, still works. The issue is not the functionality of the device or the number assigned, It is with the ported 480.***.****

Junrex: Yes, I have seen it. You cannot receive a call with this number (480) ******* assign with your magicJack, am I correct?

Robert: You are correct

Junrex: Please unplug your magicJack. Then click the magnifying class icon on the upper right corner of your Mac screen and search for “Users”

Robert: ok

Robert: what are we doing

Junrex: Then open the [username you use when you log in your mac] open the library then open preferences.

Robert: Are we troubleshooting my system?

Junrex: I am trying to uninstall your magicJack first.

Robert: It is working fine

Robert: its the ported number that is not in service

Robert: I understand you have to troubleshoot. But it is working

Robert: last time a 10%’er helped me, we did all this

Robert: it ws found to be an issue with the port

Robert: they said it would be resolved “within a few days”

Robert: never was

Robert: PLEASE do not make me do all this again and then tell me its a port issue

Robert: I just wanted a refund since you guys could not complete the process after 4 months

Robert: this is a customer service nightmare

Robert: I understand if you think my issue is silly

Robert: its ok

Robert: but lets resolve this

Robert: If it was my system, we would not be getting a “the number you have reached is not in service, please check the number ” we would be going to voice mail

Junrex: Yes, I am checking that issue, Robert and I would like to check something first. Would this be fine with you to trouble shoot your magicJack?

Robert: NO more troubleshooting. Its the number

Junrex: Please click on “Transfer my Number”.

Robert: OH ok. My plea for mercy was not taken into account, lets troubleshoot YAY!

Junrex: I will be right with you.

Junrex: Input the phone number.

Robert: cannot be transferred

Robert: it shows already completed

Robert: been that way since November

Junrex: Please restart the magicJack. To do so you may click the ‘Menu’ button, hover over the ‘Advanced users’ menu item and click ‘Restart’.

Robert: its restarting

Robert: done

Junrex: Try to call your magicJack phone number.

Robert: I did, it works. vm works too if I don’t pick up

Junrex: Glad to hear that.

Robert: nope, don’t be

Robert: ******* is not working

Robert: shall I try that number first before we go

Junrex: Hold on.

Junrex: please.

Junrex: The reason why it won’t work with this number: (480)******* since the number has not been assigned to your magicJack. Do you know how to switch from (480) ******* to (480) *******?

Robert: done

Robert: calling

Junrex: Not yet, please.

Robert: “Your call cannot be completed as dialed – error 69p”

Junrex: Please hold on.

Junrex: One moment please…

Junrex: Please restart the magicJack, again. To do so you may click the ‘Menu’ button, hover over the ‘Advanced users’ menu item and click ‘Restart’.

Robert: restarting (with the ******* this time)

Junrex: Thank you.

Robert: done

Junrex: Please try to call again your magicJack and let me know if you still get that error.

Robert: calling

Robert: Your call cannot be completed as dialed – error 69p

Junrex: Thank you for that information.

Robert: I called again and “Your call cannot be completed as dialed – error 69p”

Junrex: Can I have at least 3 phone numbers heard such number upon calling your magicJAck phone number (480) *******?

Robert: You want me to give you other peoples phone numbers?

Junrex: I need for technical purposes. Would that be fine with you?

Robert: #1 480-*******

Robert: #2 480-*******

Robert: #3 480-*******

Robert: #4 602-*******

Junrex: Do you know the phone company in each phone number?

Robert: All have tried and get same message

Robert: YEs

Robert: Tmobile, Sprint and QWEST

Robert: my 480-******* was Cox

Junrex: I know this issue had been reported but as I’ve checked the report, I have seen there were less information provided. As a supervisor I know that this is my responsibility to straighten things out. You have been promised by previous agents that this will be taken care of but still nothing has been resolved yet. Rest assured that this time we will work with this matter. I will follow up this matter every now and then so that I can be sure that this will be taken care of. I know how you feel right now. I understand that the situation disappoints and frustrates you. We will work on this so that this issue will be fixed as fast as possible. I will make a follow up report since I have the important information I need to resolve this issue as quickly as possible.

Robert: I have waited and given every one of your agents my time, patients and trust and all I get is some tech trying to troubleshoot my computer… and then when that fails they promise some more

Robert: what I don’t tell them is 1) I am a tech (was a manager for tech support as well for many years) 2) I know the issue is between your company and Cox

Robert: Now what is your company willing to do to keep this customer and make it right?

Robert: not patients lol Patience

Robert: I appreciate your willingness to help me, I am just at the end of my 4 month rope

Junrex: My apologies with this issue, Robert and I know you were been promised by other representatives. Also, I know as well its hard to get your trust this time but if you will just give me one last chance then I believe you will given a good result with this issue of yours.

Robert: Why should I?

Robert: Why not just forget about money lost on a bad product, go with Vonage or other and tell the world how HORRIBLE this experience was?

Robert: You may be the rockstar of this company but with the track record I have seen, again I ask, Why stay?

Robert: “MagicJack or TragicJack. The tale of one man’s journey into the customer service abyss” – How does that grab you?

Junrex: My apologies with this issue, Robert. The reason why I need you to stay is I know this issue will be resolved. The only way to keep you is to fix your ported number issue and that is what I am going to show you.

Robert: Really not enough

Robert: do what you want

Robert: I am sorry we did not meet 4 months ago

Junrex: My apologies with this issue again, Robert but please give us few days with this since with my position, I will make sure this will be taken cared of in a fashion time manner since I know myself that I am the voice of customers concern and it is my obligation to give a remedy in each customers who needs my help.

Robert: Junrex, I can almost guarantee this will not be resolved. You will fail me like the rest.

Robert: but you seem to have good intentions.

Robert: as for customer service. If you bought a car or any goods and they were never delivered, would you keep waiting and not tell everyone how bad the service was?

Robert: Do what you can, I will start looking for new service.

Junrex: I won’t do that since I believe, a failure to resolve an issue to customer is a lose of customer trust and I don’t want to happen that way to all my customers.

Robert: Tell you what. If you fail to get my number ported. Refund my money for the port, upgrade me to the best majicjack for free.

Robert: If you can then I will send a letter praising your efforts

Junrex: Thank you, Robert. Can I put you on hold while I am going to gather the need information about this issue and complete the report as well to submit personally to our admin for this issue?

Robert: what about the upgrade and refund comment?

Junrex: I will put that as well.

Junrex: I will include that to my report.

Robert: can you do this or do they limit what the 10%’ers can do

Junrex: My apologies but we cannot refund it however, as mentioned, I will put that to my report that you would like a refund . I really would like to show you that how sincere I am to give a remedy with all your concerns.

Robert: I see you want to try. The issue now is, even if you succeed, its only what I payed for four months ago. My time has value to me, as does yours. My frustration deserves some compensation. I should be given the top tier support as well a product for no fee. This is not only fair but earned with my time.

Robert: I doubt any of my request will ever be granted, including the original port.

Junrex: My apologies but as mentioned earlier, I will do my best with my position to be able to hear your concerns and give a remedy as well. Please give me a chance to work with this issue.

Robert: Thanks for your time

Junrex: I understand but I will show you an action with this, Robert.

Robert: will you be calling me to check as you stated?

Robert: email?

Robert: how will I hear from you

Junrex: We will update you via email. Please start checking your email tomorrow since anytime you will have an update for this issue of yours.

Robert: from you?

Junrex: From our team.

Robert: will you own this?

Junrex: The email is from magicJack since that is how we let the customer know that the email is coming from us.

Robert: Okay, I leave you with this song lyric “Hit the road Jack, and never come back no more.”

Junrex: Likewise and take care, Robert.

Robert: Touche’

* Throw my own trash in the dumpster
* Make it to the parking lot where I will soon be paring my truck (Black Beauty or Heartbreaker, not sure on the name… more to come later)
* Go to the corner store *(Circe K) and back

I found that the apartment complex I live in is not handi-capable in the least! On my way to the dumpster the parking lot has a mountainous region that I found myself trapped on. On the way to the Circle K the entrance (and only way) for me to go, has a incline so steep I was sliding out of my wheelchair and screaming something in Spanish not even understandable to me! It sorta sounded like EPpa Eppa y ARRIBA! But more cussier. When we got the the store all I bought was beer… I did not even want beer but I bought it… 24 of them! I am feeling better now that I have administered some of them, but holy frijole batman… that was some wild ride I am sure not to do ever again, well, 20 beers from now I may feel differently.

*hic*

I made it back with minor scratches and abrasions (there are really pokey bushes on the narrow walk we took coming home).

I may need more beer.

That is all.

Imagine my surprise when my son in law bangs on my door and wakes me up from a deep (journey to the earths core deep) sleep! Asks me if I “NEED ANY HELP!” I go through the caverns of my mind thinking about stuff like “do I need to move the couch, reach some cans above the stove?” I yell out, “NOT SURE, WHAT, UM, HEY, UH, HI NATE!” Then he says to me “Danielle said you may need help. Did you call her?”

I figured this was an emergency wellness check!

“I may have called her with my face.”

Nate “Silence”

Me “um, what time is it?”

Nate “8:30″

Me “Day or night?”

Nate *silence*

Me *waiting*

Nate in a hushed tone “night, 8:30 pm”

Me “ok, I will call her, thanks for coming to save my life, sorry I was not dead.”

*door closes*

It seems my phone was next to me and I rolled over it with my face and called my kid. When I called her to apologise and see if I had called her she sais this is what took place.

PHONE RINGS *from Daddy*

Danielle “HeLLooOOOOoo Daddio!”

Me *growling sounds*

Danielle “Daddy?”

Me *raspyness*

Danielle “DADDY!!! ARE YOU OK!!!?”

Me “I need help.”

DEAD PHONE

I have no idea why I would have said that but I did. What a way to start the day.. I mean night.. I mean

*Sigh*

If you get a call from me and I am growling, just hang up on me.

In taking part of the protest my sites (Haggis and Hey! Whats that fat guy cooking?) were down for the entire day. I did not surf the web or do the social meth clicks either.

I WAS OFFLINE ON PURPOSE!

This is what I did from Midnight to the following midnight (no sleep).
I washed all my clothes and blankets (everything that could be washed, WAS washed).
I gathered every document and letter (all paper productes with words on them). I sorted and filed them in a filing cabinet. ALL OF THEM. About the space of 40 PS3′s.
I put away the Christmas decorations (tree included).
Cleaned and vacuumed my entire apartment.
Moved HEAVY items into closets. Moved Heavy items into room from closets.
Cleaned out my fridge.
Made lunch and dinner for the next day (Pulled pork sandwiches and tilapia over wild rice).
Jailbroke and cracked an iPhone 3G.
Played Skyrim and got stuck in some cave with glowing mushrooms and some Gollum looking mothers.

There was some singing, writing and at one point “STREAKING!” But not on purpose. That is a story for another protest.

So, SOPA PIPA (that sounds like a sopaipilla and I am afraid many Hispandexes may want it to pass, thinking it is so very delicious) helped in some productive way for me.

How did it help y’all?

Keeme

Once upon a time, there were three bears who livd in the woods. The Papa bear, the mama bear and the baby bear. While eating breakfast consisting of porridge, kind of like Cream of Wheat but not so much, they discovered it (the porridge) was too hot! So they went for a walk. A short time later along came a little girl named Goldilocks. She knocked on the front door and, when no one answered, she cased the joint and found an open window and commited her 3rd BnE of the day!
She had broken in through a kitchen window and saw there were three bowls of porridge. She sat at the Papa bears bowl andate some.

“This porridge is too hot!” she exclaimed.

So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

“This porridge is too cold,” she said

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.

“Ahhh, this porridge is just right,” she said happily and she ate it all up.

After she’d eaten the three bears’ breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.

“This chair is too big!” she exclaimed.

So she sat in the second chair.

“This chair is too big, too!” she whined.

So she tried the last and smallest chair.

“Ahhh, this chair is just right,” she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!

Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep.

As she was sleeping, the three bears came home.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge,” growled the Papa bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge,” said the Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!” cried the Baby bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair,” growled the Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair,” said the Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair and they’ve broken it all to pieces,” cried the Baby bear.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed,”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, too” said the Mama bear

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed and she’s still there!” exclaimed Baby bear.

Now here is where I have been fuzzy all my life. My ending goes a certain way but I have heard some parents tell it in a more “lets all get along; kumbaya” sorta tone. First the way this website tells it

Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed, “Help!” And she jumped up and ran out of the room. Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. And she never returned to the home of the three bears.

Now my way

Then the Bears locked the door like Kenny Rogers did in that song “The Gambler.” Then went over to Goldielocks and ATE THAT @Y^#*(@( @^#&@(& All THE @T%@&#* UP! Try and be eating my food and breaking my baby’s bed NOT IN MY HOUSE BIOTCH!- THE END MOTHER @T(Y#(Q)”

They seem to like my ending a little more, maybe because I do the voices too.

Ahh, Fairy Tales. Next time I will recite what I used to tell my kids (all girls) about Cinderella! Just know that the prince does not come out dashing or even a winner in the divorce, in my version of the story.

1) Zombies are slow.
2) They are turned by some sort of act (sex or other, you know, biting and heavy petting and such).
3) Ewww I just thought of 1 & 2 combined.
4) There is really only one way to kill a zombie, shot to the head.
5) They are really bent on eating brains like its the McRib on black Friday!

So if we take this information and actually prepare for it. Why not stock up on some kind of brain substitute? We do it every damned day with the tier 2 zombies (tier 2 are us fat people hell bent on eating healthy but not wanting to give up our delicious snacks). I bet if you took all the cookies and soda out of the picture the tier 1′s would take over so fast, it would make Walking Dead look like an episode of Dora the Explorah. Oh, who are these tier 1′s you may ask, BABIES (ages 1 to 3).

I propose we (society) create a reserve of brains and tofu substitues to feed these zombies of tomorrow. We can get Monsanto or them other guys to alter some corn or liposuctioned fat to create these “lunch-able” type brains. We can market them with other survivalist crap. I bet the commercials would be awesome, like mini movies.. ZOMBIE MOVIES! Picture a family of four, in the basement. An arm comes through some gingerly places boards and grabs Dad! “grrr brains, grrr.” The mom laughs and the children seem to agree “Hehe, mommy they think Dad has brains, hehe.” Then Mommy takes a package out of the freezer and looks into the camera “Caught with unexpected dinner guest? Try Brainios or Brainchiladas. I serve them after ever apocalypse and they are such a huge hit!” cutaway to a scene where the family is seated at a table complete with zombies. “Mmmm brainchiladas, mmmm grrrr.” Wife looks at her husband “honey, these are for the guests!” Everyone laughs, except for the undead, they are too busy enjoying the delicious grey matter.

While we are at it, maybe we inject some kind of muratic/sulfuric acid in that fake brain meal and BAM! No more zombies. No need for weapons when we have Soybrains growing in the fields!

One more thing… Why no zombies in wheelchairs. We freaking might like brains too, silly Hollywood.

My amigo (Carpool Dave) stopped by for a guitar lesson. We talked for a while about what what we each were doing in life and how we are trying to improve upon the quality and so on. Then I said “lets break out with them guitars and rock this joint!” or “nice guitar man.” either way, it led to a lesson. Now here is the thing about me, I don’t know how to play all that well and giving lessons has been limited to many children (who later learned from real instructors and went on to live happy healthy lives). I traumatized many souls in my day… sometimes by a choppy version of Tequila Sunrise in the afternoon or with a inebriated belting of Witchy Woman at 3AM! Sorry The Wardens <-- my favorite neighbors ever. Either way it was the tribute to The Eagles that mattered.

So as I am showing Dave how to play Already Gone or La Bamba (complete with non hispandex lyrics "palala la la la bamba") he sorta fizzles out (I think his fingertips were bleeding or he just started to imagine me doing a finally worthy of Hendrix and did not wanna see a guitar flying around my head) he stopped and talked to me about this blog. He said, a bunch of stuff about, my Christmas tree (its still up, lets not go there yet), my tv and The Smashing Pumpkins. At some point he looked me in the eye or looked away (I was so confused I really don't remember which) and said

"You are like a 50's, 60's 70's classic rock sorta banjo picking superfly kinda dude huh?"

*Silence*

I agreed because, I thought, yes, yes I am. HE went on for about 3 hours about how the Pumpkins early stuff was delicious and the newer, not so much. Then I started to play Marcy Playgrounds SEX AND CANDY... Thats when Dave left. As he was leaving I played more Eagles and heard Dave say something like "I think I should get a book and learn the chords on my own now, bye."

Ahhh teaching people how not to play the guitar is what I am gonna start telling people "is what I do."